Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny): “Serving the family is considered to be expiation for major sins. It will quench the Lord’s wrath, and be considered as the nuptial gift for the ‘Houris’ [women in heaven]. It will be a cause of raised ranks, and increased, recorded good-deeds.” (Jami’ al-Sa’adat, v.2, p.142)
Some people think that it is better to keep their family in a difficult situation. They have enough money but they are stingy with their wife and children. Regardless of their motivation, I’m going to check whether it is good or not. So it is the main question: Is it good to provide abundant provision for our family?
The sacred religion of Islam’s view on this matter is clear. Islam encourages us to try to put our family in comfort.
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny) has said: “Serving the family is considered to be expiation for major sins. It will quench the Lord’s wrath, and be considered as the nuptial gift for the ‘Houris’ [women in heaven]. It will be a cause of raised ranks, and increased, recorded good-deeds.” (Jami’ al-Sa’adat, v.2, p.142)
Surely, this reward will encourage believing men to serving their wives, and abstain from being stingy and bossy.
God’s Prophet also said: “Whoever is affluent but is stingy with his wife does not belong to our nation.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v.2, p.643)
It is nice to say that in Islam there is a mutual relationship between providing most amply for the family and being pleasing one near God. Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) said: “Whoever provides most amply for his family will be the most pleasing one near God.” (Mustadrak al-Wasa’il, v.2, p.643)
All couples should know that they should be kind with each other, so that God grants them the great promised rewards.
There is a common misconception among some persons that the woman is forced to do housework, while from the viewpoint of Islamic jurisprudence, a man does not have the right to force his wife to work. According to Islam the woman is her husband’s life-partner not his slave or housemaid.
Of course most women love to work at home because they love their husband, children and their lives. But this should not lead to abuse by men. Islamic Immaculate Leaders have encouraged men to help their wives.
Prophet Muhammad told Imam Ali (the first Imam of Muslims):“Listen to me. I will not tell you anything but what my Lord commands. God will establish the reward of as many years of fasting in the daytime and staying up at night to pray, as there are hairs on one’s body for helping his wife with the housework. The reward will be similar to what He has granted to the patient ones and the Prophet David, Jacob and Jesus.” (Jami’ al-Sa’adat, v.2, p.142)
Islam says that men should be kind to their wives, not bother or hurt them; not be strict with them, but help them. The Holy Prophet said:“On the Resurrection Day I am the enemy of any man who unduly beats his wife. Do not beat your wives. Thus whoever unduly beats his wife has surely disobeyed God and His Prophet.” (Irshad al-Qulub, v.1, p.175)
There is no doubt that the blessed foundation of family will be firm only with love and mercy and this structure will be shaken up by the erupting quakes of disharmony and bad temper.
Apart from the prophets and saints of God, anyone can make mistakes. The same thing may happen in a family environment. There is no doubt that there are problems in every house. Incompatibilities may cause quarrels that might place a gap between wife and husband, and may drive them more apart from each other. If not prevented, this might lead to separation and divorce. Specially inexperienced couple who still follow their lust may get angry quickly, and attempt to take revenge on each other.
In order to prevent this, Islam has advised husbands and wives to forgive each other, and ignore one another’s faults. Islam says whenever your wife makes a mistake out of ignorance, you should forgive her. The best advice that we have received regarding women are the words of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny):
“God will save whoever bears his wife – even if it is just one (bad) word – from the Fire. God will assure him of Heaven and record two thousand good deeds for him. God will wipe out two hundred thousand of his wrong-doings and raise his rank two hundred thousand levels, and establish as many years of worshipping for him as there are hairs on his body.” (Makarim al-Akhlaq, p.216)
Remember that your wife is your life-partner. She is neither your slave, nor your housemaid. So be gentle with her. And also remember that there is no use in being harsh with your wife.
As you know opposite-sex attraction is a God given natural instinct in human beings. After reaching puberty, boys and girls are attracted to each other. Because of this need and the natural instinct is that in Islam, marriage is ordered. The husband and wife build a structure upon love, comfort and delight and they promise to each other that this relationship will last to the end of their life. But what is needed to fulfill this promise?
According to Islam, love and mercy are two main factors for the strength of marriage building and the relationship between husband and wife. The Holy Quran says:“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. And he has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (3:21)
In fact, love and mercy constitute the glue and cement for the structure of a family. A life without love and mercy is a shaky life, ready to break apart. But if the life of a couple is filled with tranquility, is based on love, and is accompanied by mercy, it is firmly established.
Remember that according Holy Quran, putting love and mercy between the hearts of couple will be done by God. So, always pray for them.
It is obvious that everyone is seeking a peaceful life. Nobody wants to be far from relaxing. Having a good wife is one way to achieve peace. Holy Quran says:“It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate in order that he might dwell with her (in love).” (1)
It is a God-given blessing for a man to have an angel as his wife in his house, the angel who is so fond of him and made a promise to stay whole of the life. In fact, God has made your wife a comfort, a companion and a protector for you. So for such a great gift, you must respect the rights of the wife.“She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility.” (2)
Imam Baqir (the fifth Imam of Muslims) quoted on the authority of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny):“Gabriel advised me about women so much that I thought she could not be divorced unless she clearly commits adultery.” (3)
The status of woman in Islam is very high and therefor, Islam orders to be gentle to woman.
1-The Holy Quran (7:189)
2- Imam Sajjad, the Treatise on Rights, right n.20
The marriage and establishment of family is the best way to prevent adultery and the corruption of the society. The husband and wife build a home upon love, comfort and delight in which the couple shall live together their whole life, and raise boys and girls to continue the human society. This structure is only firm if both of husband and wife know about the mutual rights. Here we are going to write about the rights of wife.
Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) said:
“And the right of your wife is that you should know that God has made her a repose, a comfort and a companion, and a protector for you. It is incumbent upon each of you to thank God for the other and realize that the other one is God’s blessing for you. It is obligatory to be a good companion for God’s blessing, and to honor her and treat her gently… She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility. You should care for her through consummation of the lust that must be consummated. And that is surely great. And there is no power but in God.(The Treatise on Rights, right n.20)
Since the sexual instinct is the most difficult to control, one should choose the best way to fulfillment this natural instinct. Taking a moderate stance is liked by Islam and is according to the nature of our creation. Islam does not allow its followers neither exceeding the bounds nor falling short. As an example for opposition of Islam to the theory that has totally abandoned sex, read this story: A few of the companions of the Noble Prophet of God, decided to avoid having sexual intercourse with their wives, eating breakfast and sleeping at night. Um Salmah (the wife of Prophet) told this to the Prophet. The Prophet Muhammad went to them and asked:“Do you abstain from (going to) your wives? I go to my wives, eat in the daytime and sleep at night. Whoever forsakes my tradition is not from me.”(Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v.14, p.8) As you see Islam strongly opposes to those who have considered sex to be an animal act and have called it filthy.
On the other hand, Islam is strongly opposes those who commit adultery. The Holy Qur’an says:“Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).”(17:32) The important point in this verse is that the verse says do not even approach adultery let alone committing. It shows that there are some other deeds that might ultimately lead to adultery. Acts like flirting, looking, nudity, reading sexy books, viewing pornography, and going to centers of corruption or being in a private place with another person of the opposite sex are all preparatory actions which might lead to adultery.
We should remember that making love with our legal wives is the moderate stance regarding sexual instincts.