“The words of a man who tells his wife
I love you
will never leave her heart and mind.”
((Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him and his progeny)/ Furu’ al-Kafi, v.5, p.569))
As each activity requires a correct manner, living in a society and being among the people, need a good manner and strategy too.
On the other hand, the main elements of a community are people who live there and each strategy should be adjusted on the basis of relationships with people. Meantime, it is nice to say that when we use the word of “people” we mean all kinds of people, because each type of people lives in a society: Good-tempered and bad-tempered, Stingy and generous, Polite and impolite and so on.
So, the main question is this: How should we treat people and which method to apply to have a comfortable life sweet?
In this regard, Islamic teachings are full of useful directives that show us the way. It is quoted on the authority of Imam Baqir (the fifth Imam of Muslims) that a person from the went to see the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him and His progeny) and said: “Please advise me.” The advice that the Prophet (P.B.U.H) gave him was as follows: “Be affectionate to people so that they love you.” (Usul al-Kafi, v.2, pp.642-643) and it indicates the importance of being kind with others and also indicates the best strategy and method to treat people.
Of course, those who have done us a favor have a great position. Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him and His Progeny) has said: “Whoever receives a favor should compensate it. If he cannot do so, at least he should mention it. Thus if he mentions it, he has thanked the one who has done him a favor.” (Nahjul Fasaha, tradition n.2827)
In Islam, brothers are not only those who are being born of the same parents, rather those who have common belief, are brothers too. The goal of Islam is to put a strong bond among the Muslims. According to point of view of Islam, all Muslims belong to one family and they must behave like it. Imam Sadiq (the sixth Imam of Shia) said: “A believer is the brother of other believers. They are all parts of the same body. If one part hurts, other parts will feel the pain. Their souls are also derived from One Spirit. A believer’s soul is so strongly attached to God’s Spirit that it is like the attachment of the sun’s rays to the sun.” (Usul al-Kafi, v.3, p.166)
Basically Islam does not tolerate violence and hatred in society and do its best to bring peace and love. For example two large tribes of Oas and Khazraj that had deep animosities with each other became brother by Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him and His Progeny). Later these two tribes forgot their brotherhood and fought again. To solve this problem, the Prophet offered a basic solution. He instructed the Muslims to express their love and friendship to each other. He said: “When one of you likes another one he should let him know about it.” (Al-Mahajjah al-Bayda, v.3, p.331)
Yes dears, the best way to establish peace in the world is that we love each other and express it to each other.
There is a common misconception among some persons that the woman is forced to do housework, while from the viewpoint of Islamic jurisprudence, a man does not have the right to force his wife to work. According to Islam the woman is her husband’s life-partner not his slave or housemaid.
Of course most women love to work at home because they love their husband, children and their lives. But this should not lead to abuse by men. Islamic Immaculate Leaders have encouraged men to help their wives.
Prophet Muhammad told Imam Ali (the first Imam of Muslims): “Listen to me. I will not tell you anything but what my Lord commands. God will establish the reward of as many years of fasting in the daytime and staying up at night to pray, as there are hairs on one’s body for helping his wife with the housework. The reward will be similar to what He has granted to the patient ones and the Prophet David, Jacob and Jesus.” (Jami’ al-Sa’adat, v.2, p.142)
Islam says that men should be kind to their wives, not bother or hurt them; not be strict with them, but help them. The Holy Prophet said: “On the Resurrection Day I am the enemy of any man who unduly beats his wife. Do not beat your wives. Thus whoever unduly beats his wife has surely disobeyed God and His Prophet.” (Irshad al-Qulub, v.1, p.175)
There is no doubt that the blessed foundation of family will be firm only with love and mercy and this structure will be shaken up by the erupting quakes of disharmony and bad temper.
As you know opposite-sex attraction is a God given natural instinct in human beings. After reaching puberty, boys and girls are attracted to each other. Because of this need and the natural instinct is that in Islam, marriage is ordered. The husband and wife build a structure upon love, comfort and delight and they promise to each other that this relationship will last to the end of their life. But what is needed to fulfill this promise?
According to Islam, love and mercy are two main factors for the strength of marriage building and the relationship between husband and wife.
The Holy Quran says: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them. And he has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (3:21)
In fact, love and mercy constitute the glue and cement for the structure of a family. A life without love and mercy is a shaky life, ready to break apart. But if the life of a couple is filled with tranquility, is based on love, and is accompanied by mercy, it is firmly established.
Remember that according Holy Quran, putting love and mercy between the hearts of couple will be done by God. So, always pray for them.
It is obvious that everyone is seeking a peaceful life. Nobody wants to be far from relaxing.
Having a good wife is one way to achieve peace. Holy Quran says: “It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate in order that he might dwell with her (in love).” (1)
It is a God-given blessing for a man to have an angel as his wife in his house, the angel who is so fond of him and made a promise to stay whole of the life. In fact, God has made your wife a comfort, a companion and a protector for you. So for such a great gift, you must respect the rights of the wife. “She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility.” (2)
Imam Baqir (the fifth Imam of Muslims) quoted on the authority of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny): “Gabriel advised me about women so much that I thought she could not be divorced unless she clearly commits adultery.” (3)
The status of woman in Islam is very high and therefor, Islam orders to be gentle to woman.
1-The Holy Quran (7:189)
2- Imam Sajjad, the Treatise on Rights, right n.20
3- Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v.14, p.122
The marriage and establishment of family is the best way to prevent adultery and the corruption of the society. The husband and wife build a home upon love, comfort and delight in which the couple shall live together their whole life, and raise boys and girls to continue the human society. This structure is only firm if both of husband and wife know about the mutual rights. Here we are going to write about the rights of wife.
Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) said:
“And the right of your wife is that you should know that God has made her a repose, a comfort and a companion, and a protector for you. It is incumbent upon each of you to thank God for the other and realize that the other one is God’s blessing for you. It is obligatory to be a good companion for God’s blessing, and to honor her and treat her gently… She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility. You should care for her through consummation of the lust that must be consummated. And that is surely great. And there is no power but in God. (The Treatise on Rights, right n.20)
Let me ask a question explicitly. My word is with the believers. Have you ever thought that who is your real God? Do not be surprised. I explain. True believers are those who have the greatest respect and love for the Lord. “But those who believe love God more (than anything else).” (The Holy Quran, 2:165)
Now back to the question. What exactly do we worship? God is the most popular thing in our lives?
Some people like their passions more than anything. They prefer their own lust even to the Commandments of God. “Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his God” (The Holy Quran, 45:23)
Some have chosen wealth and property as God. Their love is money and they sacrifice everything for money.
For another group sexual instinct is the most popular matter. They do not care for what is lawful and what is forbidden. In fact, they worship sex and private parts!
Also power and ambition can be named as additional examples.
In fact, such people associate other things with God, while the greatest right of God … is that worshiping Him without associating anything with Him. (Imam Sajjad, the treatise on rights, right n.1)
Let us ask God to help us and grant us success in worshiping Him sincerely.
The human eye is like other tools. It means if we use it correctly the result will be good and vice versa. We are not allowed to use our eyes as we wish, as we are not allowed to use a knife to injure or kill others. Hence, prohibited items must be known to avoid committing them. For example it is forbidden to look at unfamiliar (Na-Mahram) women. It does not mean that we should close our eyes completely since then we cannot walk or we might fall down on the ground, but it means we can reduce the amount that we see by limiting our view. Imam Sadiq (the sixth Imam of Muslims) said: “One look after another will sow the seeds of desire in the heart, and it is sufficient temptation for the person.” (Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v.14, p.139)
A dirty look will also tear down the veils of modesty and chastity. There are many people whose life is ruined due to a dirty look. Only for instance it can be said that dirty look of a married man at unfamiliar (Na-Mahram) woman or girl will sow the seeds of desire in his heart and he will be in love with her gradually and it can ruin the family. And it is also forbidden for women because the same reason.
We should remember that dirty look, is a major reason for the spread of adultery.