“O people! Gabriel came to me from the threshold of God and said: Virgin girls are like the fruits on a tree. When they ripen, they should be plucked. Else, they will be spoiled due to exposure to the rays of the sun, and they will be scattered about due to the blowing of the wind. When girls mature and feel sexual inclinations, there is no remedy for them but a husband. If they do not get married, they are not secure from corruption since they are human (and are not immune from making mistakes).”
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him And His Progeny)
The marriage and establishment of family is the best way to prevent adultery and the corruption of the society. The husband and wife build a home upon love, comfort and delight in which the couple shall live together their whole life, and raise boys and girls to continue the human society. This structure is only firm if both of husband and wife know about the mutual rights. Here we are going to write about the rights of wife.
Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) said:
“And the right of your wife is that you should know that God has made her a repose, a comfort and a companion, and a protector for you. It is incumbent upon each of you to thank God for the other and realize that the other one is God’s blessing for you. It is obligatory to be a good companion for God’s blessing, and to honor her and treat her gently… She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility. You should care for her through consummation of the lust that must be consummated. And that is surely great. And there is no power but in God.(The Treatise on Rights, right n.20)
Since the sexual instinct is the most difficult to control, one should choose the best way to fulfillment this natural instinct. Taking a moderate stance is liked by Islam and is according to the nature of our creation. Islam does not allow its followers neither exceeding the bounds nor falling short. As an example for opposition of Islam to the theory that has totally abandoned sex, read this story: A few of the companions of the Noble Prophet of God, decided to avoid having sexual intercourse with their wives, eating breakfast and sleeping at night. Um Salmah (the wife of Prophet) told this to the Prophet. The Prophet Muhammad went to them and asked:“Do you abstain from (going to) your wives? I go to my wives, eat in the daytime and sleep at night. Whoever forsakes my tradition is not from me.”(Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v.14, p.8) As you see Islam strongly opposes to those who have considered sex to be an animal act and have called it filthy.
On the other hand, Islam is strongly opposes those who commit adultery. The Holy Qur’an says:“Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).”(17:32) The important point in this verse is that the verse says do not even approach adultery let alone committing. It shows that there are some other deeds that might ultimately lead to adultery. Acts like flirting, looking, nudity, reading sexy books, viewing pornography, and going to centers of corruption or being in a private place with another person of the opposite sex are all preparatory actions which might lead to adultery.
We should remember that making love with our legal wives is the moderate stance regarding sexual instincts.
When we talk about tongue and the ability to speak, it is necessary to speak about things that corrupt the tongue, because there is a cause of corruption for everything and the tongue is not an exception to this. Many causes have been cited in this regard:
1-Over talking: it is one of the bad characteristics because possible mistake in talkative persons is much more than taciturn persons. For this reason, The Noble Prophet said: “Blessed be the one who restrains his tongue from excessive speech.” (Al-Mahajjah al-Bayda, v.5, p.200)
2- Swearing: One who swears in fact, harm to the character of others and such practice is certainly forbidden. Hence Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon Him and His progeny) has said: “Heaven is forbidden to whoever is used to swearing. He/she cannot enter it.” (Ibid, p.215)
3- Joking Around: “abstain from excessive joking around with your brethren.” (Ibid, p.231)
Of course, good jokes are okay as The Prophet told some nice jokes. For example One day an old lady went to see the Prophet . The Prophet said: “An old lady does not go to Heaven.” The old lady started to cry. Then the Prophet said: “On that day you will not be old. You will be young. God has said the following in the Holy Qur’an:” “We have created (their Companions) of special creation, and made them virgin – pure.” (56:35-36)
However If we’re not careful with our speech, it may harm us and others.