The marriage and establishment of family is the best way to prevent adultery and the corruption of the society. The husband and wife build a home upon love, comfort and delight in which the couple shall live together their whole life, and raise boys and girls to continue the human society. This structure is only firm if both of husband and wife know about the mutual rights. Here we are going to write about the rights of wife.
Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) said:
“And the right of your wife is that you should know that God has made her a repose, a comfort and a companion, and a protector for you. It is incumbent upon each of you to thank God for the other and realize that the other one is God’s blessing for you. It is obligatory to be a good companion for God’s blessing, and to honor her and treat her gently… She should enjoy the rights of mercy and intimacy, as she is an object of tranquility. You should care for her through consummation of the lust that must be consummated. And that is surely great. And there is no power but in God.(The Treatise on Rights, right n.20)
The big problem today is the lack of balance in instincts. Some people in the name of freedom do anything they want. They look at each scene like porno scene and they drink anything like Intoxicating drinks and they do everything like adultery. Have you ever think about very bad consequences of adultery? We just name a few examples. Social disorder is the first big problem of adultery because the relationship of the father and children will become unclear. Increasing in adultery around the world is terrible even to imagine, because in such a world the father-child relationship will be eliminated and there is also no love for these children because of the unclear relationship between child and parents. In addition, adultery leads to many contagious sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) many of which are life-threatening. The disease called AIDS is just one example.
Due to these very bad consequences, the sacred religion of Islam has prohibited adultery. Prophet Muhammad said:There are six bad effects of adultery. Three of them are in this world and the other three are in the Hereafter.
The effects of adultery in this world are as follows:
Adultery takes away one’s sincerity and divine illumination.
Adultery stops the arrival of one’s share of daily bread.
Adultery speeds up man’s destruction.
The three effects of adultery in the Hereafter are as follows:
Adultery will raise the anger of the Lord.
Adultery will make the Reckoning difficult.
Adultery will result in entry (or remaining forever) in the Fire of Hell.”
It is said that we should protect our private parts from everything that is unlawful for us like adultery. But how is it possible? Because Sexual instinct is a very strong instinct that attract men and women towards each other and … . So, what is the solution? The sacred religion of Islam presents some practical solution. Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) says:“[for protection of your private part from unlawful things] help it by lowering your eyes – this is certainly the best way to help it.”(The Treatise on Rights, Right n.9) The eyes must be closed to what is forbidden by God because some looks in fact are poisonous dart from Satan. Imam Sadiq (the sixth Imam of Muslims) has said:“A [dirty] look is a poisonous dart from the darts of Satan. How many a look has caused long-lasting regret.”(Al-Kafi, v.5, p.559) A dirty look will tear down the veils of modesty and chastity and the probability of committing adultery increases extremely. Blessed is the person who protects his/her looks.
And for protection private part“you should also remember death often, and threaten yourself with God and try to make yourself fear God. Preservation from sin and receiving help in so doing are possible by God’s help. There is no strength or power but in Him.”(Right n.9)
The remembrance of death causes to stay away from forbidden pleasures. Imam Sadiq (the sixth Imam of Muslims) said:“The remembrance of death kills desires.”(Majmu’ah Waram, p.268)
At the end it is nice to mention that besides not view forbidden scenes and the remembrance of death, the only correct way to fulfillment sexual instinct is the marriage.
Private part is the main limb concerning sexual instinct. This limb of human body is created wisely and each of the men and women has their own. However, do you know that the private parts, like other limbs, have own rights? Have you ever thought in this regard? The sacred religion of Islam even has some useful advices in this regard.
Imam Sajjad (the fourth Imam of Muslims) in his “The Treatise on Rights” has said: “And the right of your private part is that you should protect it from everything that is unlawful for you.”(Right n.9) What Imam Sajjad (Peace Be upon Him) means by “protecting your private part” is covering it from people’s eyes. In other words, you must protect it from fornication and guard it against being looked upon.
Nowadays, unfortunately, these things are not respected. Some people let loose their sexual instinct absolutely free and they do not care for anything but fun. This extremist theory causes many problems for human society. The increase of Adultery, Abortion and Divorce Statistics, the spread of sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS, loss of trust between family members, are some of these problems.
So, there is no choice but to return to the Divine teachings. We must believe God who created us, Knows what is best for us.
Since the sexual instinct is the most difficult to control, one should choose the best way to fulfillment this natural instinct. Taking a moderate stance is liked by Islam and is according to the nature of our creation. Islam does not allow its followers neither exceeding the bounds nor falling short. As an example for opposition of Islam to the theory that has totally abandoned sex, read this story: A few of the companions of the Noble Prophet of God, decided to avoid having sexual intercourse with their wives, eating breakfast and sleeping at night. Um Salmah (the wife of Prophet) told this to the Prophet. The Prophet Muhammad went to them and asked:“Do you abstain from (going to) your wives? I go to my wives, eat in the daytime and sleep at night. Whoever forsakes my tradition is not from me.”(Wasa’il al-Shi’ah, v.14, p.8) As you see Islam strongly opposes to those who have considered sex to be an animal act and have called it filthy.
On the other hand, Islam is strongly opposes those who commit adultery. The Holy Qur’an says:“Nor come nigh to adultery: for it is a shameful (deed) and an evil, opening the road (to other evils).”(17:32) The important point in this verse is that the verse says do not even approach adultery let alone committing. It shows that there are some other deeds that might ultimately lead to adultery. Acts like flirting, looking, nudity, reading sexy books, viewing pornography, and going to centers of corruption or being in a private place with another person of the opposite sex are all preparatory actions which might lead to adultery.
We should remember that making love with our legal wives is the moderate stance regarding sexual instincts.